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Numb

A/N: I don’t even remember why I wrote this…

Numb

Sliding into his dark room, he gently pulled off his coat. Once again, no one was home… but he didn’t care. Being alone was all that he ever asked for… away from them… and their wants… and demands…

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

He shook his head of the torturous thoughts. He really didn’t feel like thinking about stuff that barely mattered anymore… they were nothing more than a nuisance now… a petiful and annoying nuisance…

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

But yet, they continued to influence him… and he hated it. Each time he was called dumb, everytime they glared or slapped, he became more numb… but more aware. He knew that he wasn’t perfect, and they helped prove it to him…

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
An’ every second I waste is more than I can take

People said that he had set up a wall… that he wouldn’t let people in. They were so far off, he would let people in… if he knew how to. He had long forgotten, his mind being continuously bombarded with their eyes… their opinions… whatever they said… but he didn’t care… or rather he didn’t want to care…

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

With five minutes of freedom wasted, lost in thought, he moved farther into the dark room… but he couldn’t pull himself out of the dark demise that he was cemented into… the numbness that made him now…

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

Footfalls became apparent to his ears…

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

He took a deep breathe… and turned around… they were there… and they were already onto him… and slowly… he repeated to himself… in gentle silence…
I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
I’m tired of being what you want me to be

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