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Sunsetter

A/N: I don’t know how this turned out. It’s a lot of rambling… I think… stupid sex crazed teens. But I don’t own the song. It’s “Nymphetamine (Fix)” by Cradle of Faith. :3

Sunsetter

Just watching her was enough to get me going. It was horrid, just horrid. I couldn’t believe the thoughts I had about her… they went against everything I had ever been taught. It was horrid, but yet… they kept coming. And I loved them.

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A ‘V’ of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

The thoughts were of her… and me, and at times, there were others. But I was always in charge, I always had the power. They were mine, and they knew it. My word was their Bible. The thoughts were glorious and they always got me going. But when she touched me… it took every ounce of will power to stop myself from taking her right there, right then.

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain

We’re still friends, she says. But yet, it’s like she teases me. I can’t help but wonder what in the world I did to deserve it. She touches me softly, she knows what gets me going… to a point. She doesn’t know anything of the thoughts I have of her. 

So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

The only way that I’m able to get the thoughts of my head… is to drain them. Quite literally, I must say. With each drip of blood that drips onto the floor, one more thought is quenched. It takes quite a few drips before I feel at peace once again, but once I do… it’s like peace has finally come to me. That’s only until she shows back up again…

Bared on your tomb
I’m a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?

She’s an angel to me, an angel that I want nothing more than to taint. I want to wipe her of that white dress she wears, I want to stain it red. Red with her blood… and until I get the thoughts out of my head, my blood as well. It’s the blood that makes the thoughts go away. Perhaps, just perhaps, if I take her, make her bleed, make her feel the pain… then perhaps I won’t feel such things.

For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Like I’ve said, she knows just how to touch me. She knows how to make me moan, how to make me groan. And yet she enjoys teasing me, knowing in her sick mind that I enjoy it. She’s what makes me tick, what makes me move and think. Without her, I might be normal. Might.

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine

They have a word for me, but I don’t know it. The need to dominate others… the need to feel her scream, yes, feel her scream. I want to hear it, I want tofeel it in my mind. Maybe then perhaps the thoughts will go away… but I’m not sure I want them to go. 

Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

I’m tired a lot of the time, they tell me. That I look like I spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, as if nothing was wrong in the world. They have no idea, no idea at all, what happens when I sleep. I don’t want to sleep, that’s when the dreams come. And the dreams are always the worst part.

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

In my dreams you see, she’s there. But the roles have been twisted, she’s in charge now. There isn’t a thing I can do, she’s taken control of me. With a sick and demented smile, she looks at me as she grabs the razor, and slices it against my body, and then she laughs as I begin to bleed. My dreams, they are the payback for the day.

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade

But even after the dreams, I go to school and I stare at her. Her perfect body, untainted, that’s just calling out to me. Someday, I tell myself often, the perfectness will be mine. She will be mine, there won’t be any turning back for her. She gets me rolling, and the rolling stone only grows moss.

More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
(Keeping Sodom at night at bay)

When that stone finally meets the end of the hill, it sits. And all is still. Once I finally get to the bottom of the hill, when I make her bleed as much as she has made me, then I will be calm. Until then, my lust for her continues to grow and I dream of the pain she gives me.

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days

When we were together, long ago, we would tell eachother of our dreams. My dreams were much different back then. I felt as though I was in love, there was nothing better in the world than the girl that was sitting besides me. I smiled each night as I laid down, and I awoke smiling. The lust that has control of my mind now was non-existant then, the same lust that has taken over my body, my mind, and my soul.

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Sometimes I wonder if perhaps, perhaps she’s the wrong one. That she was wrong for doing this to me. For making me into this monster, a monster that can’t continue on without the girl that it dreams of bleeding. Perhaps it was her, perhaps she’s the monster.

Bared on your tomb
I’m a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?

The touch on the shoulder, the touch on the thigh, the playful ass slap, it all makes me tick. And she knows it, but she continues to do it. Each time that she does, the thoughts begin to play in my mind and she is there, softly smiling at me as the thoughts begin to take over. My concentration leaves me and she is all that I have left to think of. While I bleed her, she smiles at me and a coy grin begins to form.

For once upon a time
From the bind of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

The thoughts are taking over, I can’t stop. She can’t stop smiling. She knows what I’m thinking. She knows what she’s done to me. And yet she calmly moves her hand to my knee and begins to travel up. With each movement of her perfect fingers, I gasp. She’s got the surest hold on me, I can’t get away.

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter

As her hand finally reaches it’s target, she pauses. “You want it,” she softly whispers into me. Her voice travels like a boat upon a river and fills my entire body. I moan in response.

Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

A soft cry emits my lips as she pulls her hand away. 

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
None better
Nymphetamine

“You can’t have it…” she whispers, bringing her lips closer to my ear. “I know what you think.” Her lips have met my ear, and I feel the hot breath emitting from her mouth upon my ear. “I want you…” I blink.

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

“But I won’t have you.”

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