Cool Fish Only

A/N: I REALLY wanted to write something for Valentine’s Day. I really really really did, and this is what came of it. I realize it’s not very good, and doesn’t really connect/flow, BUT I WROTE SOMETHING.

Go me.

Cool Fish Only
By Greg Martin. Story is © 2011. Please do not reproduce without my consent.

“Only cool fish?”

I looked up. Jess was staring into the fishtank, and had apparently seen the little sign I had hung in there. “Of course. They don’t need any uncool fish swimming around, ya know.”

“Who’s to say that the ones you have are cool?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “They’re mine. Of course they’re cool. Now if they were your fish, we might have a problem…”

He laughed. “Oh shut it.” And then settled back into the futon, glancing around. “Whatcha wanna do?”

“We’re single, both guys, and it’s Valentine’s Day. What do you think we’re gonna do?” Now wasn’t that the question. “We’re gonna watch TV, get drunk, and then pass out right here, hating the world.”

He made a face. “You know I don’t drink.” Now I made a face. “Ah, come on, let’s do something.”

“And what do you suggest?”

He put his hand to his chin, and narrowed his green eyes. “Hmm.” He was silent for a moment, and then his head shot up; eyes wide open. “Let’s go out!”

Eh?

“Let’s go out on a date and be the gayest gays we can.”

EH?!

“It’d totally trip everyone out, and it’d be a fucking riot.”

EH?!?!

He looked at me, and must have seen the look I was giving him. “What? Don’t you want a hot sexy bod like me as your boyfriend?”

I cleared my throat. “Last I checked, you were straight.”

“I thought you gay guys liked straight guys.” I had to cough. “Aw, come on, it’ll be hot!”

I let his words sink in. Here he was, my semi-friend for the past year, and also my current roommate. Two transfer students, both of whom didn’t know a soul in the school. So we’d been placed together. My first words to him had been along the lines of Hi, I’m Jake and I’m gay, so if you have a problem with that, we’ll want to get new roommates now. and he had just looked at me like I was insane.

“Jake? Seriously dude, let’s do it!”

6 months later, we had stayed roommates and became sort of friends, if maybe only out of necessity. He seemed nervous around me most of the time, so I tended to stay away from him.

“Sure, we’ll be the school faggots for today. Sounds like fun.”

He grinned. “So, what do you gay guys do for your dates?”

I mimicked his earlier pose, putting my hand up to my chin, narrowing my eyes. I put on the guise of thinking deeply, and took a moment of silence to ponder what we could do. I hadn’t had a serious boyfriend since I was in high school – and we hadn’t really done all that much. Our relationship pretty much stayed inside our bedrooms, where pants were lost as quickly as possible, as it was only an hour til the parentals got home.

“We dress in pink, hold hands and giggle, and drink nothing but daiquiris while daintly munching on dried bread.”

Silence. “How about we do something a bit less gay, then?”

I laughed. “Dude, I was kidding. It’s the same as when you go out with Girl Specimen A or B. We just dress nicely and have a good time, eating or drinking whatever we please.” I had to snort again at the thought of my initial date idea.

“When do we getta make out?”

I flipped my hand at him as I walked towards my wardrobe. “At the end of the night, if you’re a good boy.”

“I have to wait that long?!”

I laughed, grabbed some clothes, and headed for the door. “I’m gonna go shower. If you really want to go out today, you had best make it worth my time, boy.”

“Aye aye sir!”

By the time I had showered and gotten back to the room, he had vanished.

“Figures.”

—

My date turned into an afternoon spent with the Golden Girls and a tub of ice cream. There is nothing quite like a tub of ice cream to quell the sorrows of this day. I had finished the first season (thank God that WeTV was having a marathon) when there was a knock at the door.

“Jess is out!” I shouted, not wanting to leave the comfort of my snuggie. (Best. Christmas. Gift. Ever.)

“I know I am.”

Frowning, I got up and walked towards the door. Figures that the bastard would’ve left his keys behind or something. I opened the door, ready to just turn back around, but…

He was standing there, dressed to kill. I’ll be the first to admit that I had been nursing a tiny crush on my roommate for the year, but right now, I could’ve sworn I was in love. He looked AMAZING.

Except for his face, which was knotted up in a frown. “Why aren’t you dressed?”

Eh? I guess my face showed my confusion, because, “We had plans, didn’t we?”

“Well… yeah, but you vanished.”

“I had to get ready, dumbshit. I suppose you didn’t want to go out with me in nothing but my boxers, right?” Mmhmm. “Don’t answer that.”

I looked him over once more, then muttered “Gimme 5.”

He nodded. “That’s all you’ll get if we’re to get to the restaurant on time.”

I closed the door on him, and zipped back to my wardrobe. Earlier, I had just put on a pair of jeans and a nicer button up shirt. But next to him tonight, I’d look like a slob. Not that it really mattered on our fakedate, but I might as well. Keep my own reputation up and going.

Black pants replaced sweat pants, and my t-shirt was replaced by a long sleeve button up. He didn’t have a tie on, so I didn’t feel the need to… but my hair! A comb was enough to fix it, but then I had to find my shoes and… “Are you ready yet?”

“One more minute!” A sprint of my cologne, and I thought I was ready. Maybe a breath mint.

The mirror affirmed my thoughts – I looked okay. Nothing when compared to his sleek frame, but hey. I made my way back to the door.

When he saw me, a slight smile graced his face. “Let’s go, shall we?”

—

The night passed like a blur. I hadn’t felt this happy since… since, I don’t know. Jess did all the right things. He held open the door to the cab, he led me to our table (at a nice place too!), and then held my hand as we walked around the lake afterwards.

“So…” he smiled at me. “Did you have a good night?” I nodded. “Good, I was hoping you would.”

I gave his hand a squeeze. “Thanks, it’s been awhile since I’ve felt so wanted. Even though this is just a joke-”

He cut me off. “You feel wanted?”

I looked over to him, unclasping our hands. I made sure to rise an eyebrow, even though he probably couldn’t see it in the dark. I could barely make out his face.

“Yeah.”

“Ya know, when we first moved in, I was a little startled by your introduction. Not exactly what I was expecting.”

I laughed. This was the first time he had ever mentioned how I introduced myself. “Well, I’ve had bad experiences in the past.”

He was silent for a few more minutes, before, “Yeah, me too.”

We had been walking side by side. The lake was to his left, and as I spun to look at him, he was outlined by the moon’s reflection on the water. I couldn’t see his expression, and it killed me – I wanted to know what he meant by that!

But all I could manage was an “Oh?”

He turned to walk again, and held out his hand, brushing against mine. I let our fingers tangle and a few steps later, he spoke. “Yeah. My roommate sophmore year kicked my ass when I told him I wanted to have my boyfriend over. I ended up in the hospital.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he didn’t stop. “Everyone stared at me when I went back to classes later that week. My boyfriend wouldn’t even talk to me, he didn’t want to come out or anything. That was the loneliest few weeks ever. I put in the transfer application as soon as I could.”

I guess I didn’t really know what to say, so I stayed quiet. I did, however, give his hand a gentle squeeze.

“When you just blurted out you were gay, I was just kinda dumbstruck. I didn’t know what to do. Sorry it took me so long to tell you.”

“It’s okay…”

He turned towards me, his face shadowed by the moon once again. “So, have I been a good boy?”

I blinked and shook my head slightly. “Say again?”

“You said…” and he moved closer to me, our noses almost touching. I could feel his moist breath on my face. “That if I was a good boy tonight, I’d get a kiss.”

I felt each aspirated sound as he made it, and I didn’t even have to think about it.

“You leave me crushing on you for six months, sneaking peaks whenever I thought you weren’t looking, all so you can ask me out on Valentine’s Day?” With each of my breaths, he pulled away slightly.

“I-”

I let him finish what he was saying into my mouth, kissing him for all he was worth.