Category Archive: Rambling

May 21

Totally works

…I am $4 away from cashing out :(

But it does work. :)

May 18

I have nothing to post about

That’s the problem with me running a blog… nothing to post about. :\

Feb 14

Played with the site more

So instead of doing something useful, like maybe writing more of my story, I played around with the site. I probably will write more in the next few weeks, as my hours have been drastically cut. In the newest schedule, I only got 12 :’( Which is a HUGE drop from the 40 I worked last week.

Oh well.

Anyways, I added a shoutbox. Not that anyone will ever use it except me :P I also changed the countdown from Percy movie to Justin Bieber’s new CD :-D

I’ve also added a page about hosting here. I don’t do much, but hey, if it brings a few bucks to my pocket, sure, I’ll share the server.

Speaking of the server – Wikimon is back up! And we have a MUCH more powerful processor now, plus 4GB of ram! We are looking pretty damn sweet now :D

And Ryan (Yeah, that Ryan) has his own blog thing going now. You can see it here. We’ll see if he does anything with it… he paid for the domain, not me. xD But I am hosting him. ♥

Here are some shirts I want, linked to where you can buy them for me. ♥

DATS Image Upload

DATS Image Upload

Aren’t they both hot? ♥

Anyways, that’s about it for today. Spam the shoutbox, buy me t-shirts, and buy hosting from me. That’s the moral of today.

Or if all else fails, BUY ME JUSTIN’S NEW CD. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Feb 03

Busy day for me

So I went on a mini-roadtrip to Duluth today… it’s a bigger town about 3 hours away. GORGEOUS area. Lake Superior is absolutely breathtaking.

Anyways, then I came home and did fansubbing. Finished up Haruhi-chan 01 for Shamisen, and then did episode 2 for QC. Sent out a memo to the encoder to please fix the audio lag…

Then moved over to DATS. Did Weiss Survive R 1-6. X__X I retimed 1-3 cuz it looked like it was bad timing, but it actually wasn’t… so 4-6 I just shifted. They’re now in QC, so I hope to put them out in the next day or so as soon as encoder does his job. Woot woot woot.

…and of course, with all of this, nearly forgot today’s chapter. But I got it done and you can see it here. Go me.

Nov 29

Birthday :o

So on Thursday, (in the middle of the all the drama…) I turned 21! Woo.

Here’s a run down of what I ended up getting… :-)

From my BFF Priscilla, I got Cirque du Freak books 7 and 8… and 7 is beyond awesome. Well, not so much the book (I’m growing a little tired of his narrative style) So then, why is it awesome? Because it’s defective… chapters 7, 8, 9, and 10 aren’t there in their entirety… and I have multiple copies of the prologue, and chapters 1-3. Haha. It’s sweet.

(I bought myself a new copy that had the story… so I know what happens)

She also got me this uber cute little giraffe. (I collect them)

From my sister Kaitlyn, I got this giraffe made from a nickel. She took jewelry this semester, and it’s amazing. :D It’s also really awesome, because she had to put her initials in it, to get a grade, right? Well, with the way that light works, it looks like a < and a 3. :D <3 From my parents, I got a $50 gift card for SuperAmerica. (Gas station, dunno if it’s local or bigger?) And then a $20 gift card to Caribou (a local coffee shop that I enjoy ♥) They were stapled (the card holders, not the actual cards) to a HUGE giraffe plush. He’s like, a super fat large child size. o.o; I shall put him in my car. Anddddddd that’s pretty much it. Big 21st, eh? XD I got a bunch of Facebook messages and a card from my grandfather, so it’s still cool. ♥ …and I have yet to get drunk. :’( Need time off to get drunk. There is an open shift on Monday… and I kinda want it… but that’d also be a chance to get drunk…. hmm :-)

Nov 24

The epic story of how I came to be me

Well, more like “What the fuck happened this weekend?” but I felt the title was more dramatic, and everyone that knows me knows that I just love to drama shit up.

First off, I’d like to note that if you’re reading this on Facebook notes, be aware that it’s being ported over from my blog ( ) automatically.

So, this epic story really starts the moment my mother got a Facebook. For many years, I have had a Facebook, and it was an area that I didn’t have to worry about Mother Dearest seeing what I posted and whatnot. Well, Monday, I guess that my feelings of “Oh, I can put whatever on Facebook” came to a test, and failed.

Before we really begin, I should note that yes, I am gay. I am a cock sucking faggot, however you want to put it. I am actually single though; Evan is fake. (More on Evan when I get to Monday) I would like to note though that I am not a cock sucking faggot, but instead the same person you’ve known since at least 6th grade, when I found myself checking out the guys in the hallway. That might have been a pivotal turn in my life, and I can’t say if I’m the same person after finding that out. But anyways, my gayness isn’t that big of a deal. I’ve had a boyfriend, but never done anything with a guy really.

So anyways, that’s where the story begins. Mother getting a Facebook. From that moment on, she saw all of my status updates, which included my recent Change to “In a Relationship with Evan Matthews”. Now, this would not have been a big deal. But we have to back-up a bit, go to Friday.

Friday was, to put it mildly, a disaster. This past weekend was a Phillips weekend, and I had it off. However, I was scheduled until 10:45pm on Friday. This is a Big Problem, because Daddy Dearest doesn’t like to leave that late. So I was told that unless I get my shift changed, I would be left behind, and would have to spend my weekend home alone. (Which, in retrospect, isn’t that bad of a thing.) However, as I was quite looking forward to getting away (Work has a thing about calling me in whenever I have Rest and Relaxation planned) I did something I do not like: I used the phone.

*** Interlude: I’m sure you’ve noticed that I capitalize some words. This is entirely intentional, and by doing so, I give them the feeling of a proper noun. It’s just a thing I do when I’m writing, so don’t pay much attention to them. ***

In case you don’t know, I hate using the phone. My hearing isn’t very good and I feel stupid when I can’t understand half of a conversation. So I try to do all my stuff in person, or over online means. (Facebook chat is the bomb)

But anyways, I called Matt and after he was slightly befuddled as to why I wanted to start an hour earlier, he agreed to switch. Big News! I was now off at 8:30, and was pleased by this. Mother Dearest was as well, and so All Was Good. (Even in my anger, I can throw in a Harry Potter reference. I win. :P)

*** Interlude: I know this may seem like a joking random piece to people, but remember that this is how I’m going to try and explain this, and it fits my personality. There will be sarcasm, and there will be references that I find myself making in my life. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read Why It Happened, and just side with either me or my parents. ***

Anyways, this is a Big Deal because I went out of my way – there is really nothing wrong with leaving that late, seeing as we get there at insane hours anyways, and it’s not as though we get up early. And I would have helped drive and whatnot – last time we went up, I drove the entire way up after having worked. And I also lost hours. Lost hours equates to lost pay, which in this instance was about 2 hours.

When I told my mom that I got the switch (yes, I called her mom – this is also helping me to sort out my own feelings and hopefully lose some anger at the situation. I add the “Dearest” when I am especially annoyed with them) she told me to make sure I was packed before work, and to make sure everything was ready upstairs. This I did. I had my red bag and my Kohl’s SuperStar shoulder bag packed and upstairs, and then I went to work.

Now, my dear readers, is where the Problem begins. I came home after work (it was a rather shit shift, and I did not enjoy it much. I had to work with a Person That I Hate and it was very busy) and low-and-behold, the van is not packed. In fact, some of the family was not packed. This annoyed me greatly, for the aforementioned reasoning. Now, here is where the Dilemma begins. Instead of telling me straight off that the trip was possibly off because dad wasn’t feeling good, they did no such thing. Instead, my mother continued to play on Facebook, and I’m just sitting there going “Why are we not leaving?”

At this point, there was some stuff about Jeff and an application for a local store. There was Big Argument about this, which I became involved in. The Big Argument turned into us not leaving, and there were Many Words. (As I type this, I envision myself raising my voice a bit on the capitalized words, emphasizing them) It ended with me basically going “Fuck this, I’m leaving. Have a good weekend.” and proceeded to leave. The family had had dinner while I was gone (frozen pizzas, a big staple in the house) and I did not want that. So, I went to Dairy Queen (I originally wanted KFC, but they were closed) and got food. I then returned home, ate my food in my room (with the door firmly closed) and went to sleep. I did not speak to my family at all after leaving that evening.

Now, I woke up briefly the following morning. My father was calling down, asking the other kids what they wanted from McDonald’s for breakfast. They all answered. Here’s where I become annoyed. Instead of, you know, at least seeing if Things Were Better, and asking if I wanted anything – or, possibly, to go – I was ignored. I went back to sleep, and woke up shortly after noon, at which point they were long gone.

Saturday and Sunday, not much needs to be said about them. I had a really good time… Priscilla came over Saturday and Sunday night, and we goofed around, watched the ending of my Favorite Show of All Time, Ghost Hunt, and just plain had fun. We haven’t had much chance lately. :-) She’s amazing.

We ended up going out Sunday night, and I got home around midnight. I had made sure that I wasn’t home when the family returned, because well, I didn’t want to have another fight. I was angry at them, and knew that if I was around, Saturday morning would have been brought up for sure, and more Angry Words would have been said. But yeah, when I got back, Mom was awake and at her laptop. She completely and utterly ignored my existence, as I gathered my things.

I went downstairs and talked to Kaitlyn for awhile about many things, and eventually went to sleep.

Now, the fun comes Monday morning. (Wow, it really feels not that long ago) I went to my first class, and then I decided to be a Good Best Friend, as Priscilla had broken up with her boyfriend the previous night. (After dropping me off, she called him) I brought her Harry Potter books, chocolate ice cream, and some laughs. One of those laughs was Evan Matthews.

Now, a bit of backstory on Evan. I absolutely LOVE the name. If I had my way, I would have two sons in the future, one named Evan Matthew Martin, and one named Connor William Martin. Now… Evan’s story, I must admit, is a sad one.

You know when you get a friend request from a completely random person that you knew in the past but haven’t spoken to in like 10 years? That you kinda sorta remember, but not really? Well, I was Stalking a Boy and so I kinda wanted to add him on Facebook, to see what he looked like, because I used to know him as a kid. Well, because I don’t like Awkward Moments with my own account, I made a fake one, and named him Evan Matthews. I found a random google pic (he’s a cute kid, isn’t he?) and spent awhile putting together a little profile. Well, I eventually befriended said person and it is all history from there.

Well, the story now goes to Monday. Priscilla knew of Evan, since I had told her of my Sad Stalking. We were messing around, and originally, Evan was to go into a relationship with her, since she had JUST broken up with someone. Joke, right? Well, she felt that would be pretty mean to the boy she had broken up with, and so it was decided that we would have me and Evan be in a relationship.

And now we go into another break from the story to add in some back story. I apologize for those that are trying to get the meat, but I want to mention Eau Claire.

Priscilla and I have both applied as transfer students at the University of Wisconsin Eau Claire for next fall. We plan on renting an apartment together. We had jokingly talked about how it would be cheaper for us to do it with three people.

Now, there have been many thoughts of who this third person would be, and I won’t say those for now. But anyways, we had kinda joked that maybe we should just get ourself a biboi (bisexual male :D) that we could just share. He pays 1/3 of the rent, and gets to chose who to sleep with that night. :-D All in joking, of course, I must add.

Well, so we were gonna joke around with Evan and pretend he was our little biboi. The plan was that he would switch from being in a relationship with me one week, and then with her the next. Confuse people – pretend he was a real kid, yeah?

At this point, Priscilla had to work. I went home around 2.

Well. Here is where we get the Meat of the Story. So all of you that have been eagerly awaiting what happens, here is your climax.

Mother saw the status change. I went from being single to being in a relationship with Evan Matthews.

End climax. Or maybe it was a catalyst? Maybe the climax was me slapping her? I should know this, wanting to be an editor someday…

Now, I will be 110% honest here. My memory of the following hours are shaky. I was very upset and very angry and feeling extremely betrayed.

My dad calls down the stairs, talking to Jeff and Kaitlyn. “Is either of your laptops nicknamed Jared?” (I name my computers. My desktop is Koro, my first laptop is Scipio, and my second is Jared) They both say no, and I call up going “It’s mine, why?”

He doesn’t reply and I think nothing of it, figuring he heard me and was just checking to make sure it wasn’t someone leeching off of our wireless network. But then my internet dies.

I don’t even remember what it all said, just that I suddenly was denied by the router. This, of course, is a Big Problem. I go upstairs, thinking that maybe he hadn’t heard me, and though that I was just someone leeching off our wireless. So, I get up there and my mom is on her laptop (on Facebook) and doesn’t look at me. My father is lounging on the couch. I ask why my net was killed.

Okay, break time. I don’t remember the exact conversation. I barely remember the gist, I just got angrier and angrier. But it revolved around my mom having seen the status change. My dad said she was shaking, she was so upset about it – and that I needed to stop playing these games, just because we didn’t leave at 8:30 on Friday.

Now, I kinda went “WTF?” because I was seriously confused. My dad goes “This Evan that you are in a relationship with.” (There was an emphasis on Evan. Poor boy) At this point, I was kinda sorta getting it. And the games part, we went back and forth about that for a few minutes – me flabergasted that he thought it was all some sort of game.

And then he says something about how I should talk to my parents about these things before putting it on Facebook where the whole family could see.

*** Interlude: At the time, this wasn’t a very important comment to me. In retrospect though, it seriously pisses me off. It appears that my Dear Parents are more interested in what the family thinks than their son’s feelings. Which kinda sorta really pisses me off. ***

I reply by saying something along the lines of how I would probably talk to my parents about these things more if not for the fact that everytime homosexuality got brought up, they make nasty, rude, demeaning comments.

Here is the point that my Mother speaks. She had been silent the entire time. Her exact words are lost on me, but their meaning was not. It was something along the lines of how her son that thought (yes, thought) he was bisexual and liked taking cock up his ass. I think there was more, in fact I’m pretty sure there was more, but I was steaming.

Before I continue on here, I will note that a long time ago (many years) I told my parents that I was bi. Over the years, I have… erm, refined my interests and decided that I was gay. The conversation had never come back up, because my parents weren’t… very understanding.

Back to the story… I walked right up to my mother and slapped her. I slapped her hard. Right across the cheek. I don’t doubt that I probably left a mark.

Now, here’s the point where many will side with my parents. Yes, I was in the wrong here. But as I have tried to explain, there is backstory. My parents knew that I was at least interested in boys, as I have told them before. They continued to make degrading comments when I was in the area, even to me. (Not talking about me, but telling me the stuff) Instead, they overreact when I change my status on Facebook, and then say something like that.

Take a moment to imagine how they would have reacted if I brought a boyfriend home. A real one, one that I was seriously interested in. How would they have treated him, a boy that I was falling in love with? Yeah, that also had an impact in what I did to my mother.

I’m not going to say I’m proud of slapping my mother. But I do think that what she said deserved some sort of retaliation, and words don’t work with her. She just goes pouty and goes on and on about how I never respect her (Need I bring up Jeff here?) It happens in every arguement, and this time I just simply bypassed that level, and hit her.

It was at this point that my father jumped up and screamed at me to “Get the fuck out of my house.” And that I did. I screamed at my mother the entire way, calling her a bitch multiple times. She had hit me hard.

*** Interlude: If there is a gay boy reading this, I would like to note that I am not actually interested in anal. The idea rather kinda grosses me out. I’m totally for anything involving cock/mouth/hand, but not ass ***

So yeah, I ended up driving around a bit, and then I came back and got my laptop, phone, and other such supplies.

I drove around aimlessly until Priscilla got off (stopping to read the first half of The Time Traveler’s Wife – finished it today and it is beyond amazing) and ended up staying the night at her place.

The story kinda dies off here, with the Status Change getting a lot of comments, and then my “Yeah, I’m gay” post getting comments. I have amazing friends (and some family, Heather you totally made my day with that message) and right now I’m still kinda going nuts in my head. But this has helped me sort out the feelings in my head. There are people I know sided one way or the other, and while I know that I probably won’t change your mind Becky, I want you to know the full story.

Mom, Dad, I’m hoping this post gets to you somehow. Calling my feelings Games really hurts. Because guess what, you have a gay son. He had a long-distance boyfriend for about six months and that was some of the happiest six months he’s ever had. But I don’t tell you about this sort of stuff because you are obviously not accepting. You don’t realize how much it hurt me every time you said degrading comments, because deep down, I felt like they were a personal attack against me.

I don’t have a boyfriend now. But really, even if I did, I’d be very afraid to introduce you. You let Kaitlyn move into the house, but I doubt you’d let my boyfriend come into the house, much less hang out in my bedroom with the door closed.

And here’s my final note. I called my dad this afternoon. I asked if I would be allowed back in. He pondered for a moment and then he said he’d have to ask mom. But that he was tired of my games.

My feelings are games, eh? Thanks, you really make me feel good.

Jun 25


I think I might do some reviews on here.

But it might help if I made the site available to others… hmm. Who would read my reviews otherwise? :(

Mar 19

Let’s try this

So my poor website has been ignored for the past… year :( or so. Makes me wonder why I even bother having the domain. D:

So uhh, gonna try this now. See how well a WordPress can hold my fail attempts at making a website work.

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