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Feelings

A/N: I’m depressed. Lyrics belong to Collin Raye. Song’s “I Can Still Feel You”

Feelings

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he moved his arm over to the empty space beside him. It still didn’t feel real, he thought that she’d be there when he moved to touch her. But she hadn’t been there in months.

It’s that feeling that someone
Is standing behind me
And I turn around and there’s no one there
And it’s the sensation

He’d never admit it, but he still felt her around. She was all around him, all through him. She still held the strings of his heart, if she was physically beside him or not. It was as if she never left at times, even though deep down he knew she was never there anymore.

That someone just whispered
Yeah and I still hear your voice but you’re not really here
Your memory is like a ghost
And my heart is it’s host

Once or twice he had compared her to a ghost, never leaving his side, haunting her for something he did. But, he rationalized, what had he done wrong? Their love had been perfect, the ideal one. Everyone said so.

I can still feel you just as close as skin
Every now and then
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
There’s a place you’ve touched
With your love no one gets close to
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you

“I’ll never leave you behind. I’ll save you some day,” she had whispered to him once before. He had taken the words to heart, believing them to be the Bible of his heart. The smile she held as she said the words, the three he could never forget, had seemed so sure.

You said you’d love me forever
Then you said it’s over
And left me without the missing link
I thought I’d forget you
But I guess I forgot to

Of course, he’d tried to move on. He’d gotten himself a new girlfriend. But she just wasn’t the same, or it was the same. Sometimes he couldn’t force himself to smile at her, other times he couldn’t let go of her. She felt like the first…

And lately I’ve been too confused to think
When I reach for someone new
It’s like I’m touching you

He never said anything to the new one. He didn’t want to hurt her… no, he’d let her think… think that he cared…

I can still feel you just as close as skin
Every now and then
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
There’s a place you’ve touched
With your love no one gets close to
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you

But the first, the one that he loved, the one that he waited salvation from, she was gone. And she was never going to return. He couldn’t help but cry… when he was alone. But he was never alone…

In everything that moves
In everything I do

Everything he did, she followed. Her memory, her touch, her love. He’d never let go of her, not as long as lived for her sake…

I can still feel you just as close as skin
Every now and then
All by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
There’s a place you’ve touched
With your love no one gets close to
I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you, I can still feel you…

Silently he’d whisper into the night…

Oh I can still feel you

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