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My First

A/N: So this is the story I was talking about earlier in my LJ. It didn’t turn out right AT ALL. It completely changed. I’ll rewrite it some day. I REALLY do not like this… though maybe someone else will?

Up until “first crush” is what I had planned. The rest wasn’t planned at all. >_>

Oh…! This is written from a GIRL’S POV!! XD Wasn’t intended to be slash at all… I thought I hinted enough that it was a girl o_O

My First
Story and characters are © Greg Martin

He really was my first, in every sense of the word.

We met when we were no more than four. Two young children, only by chance meeting at the wire fence seperating the two farms. Neither of us had seen the other before, neither of us had ever seen another child aside from our siblings. He stood on one side and gaped at me, and I did the same to him, from the other side of the fence. When our parents found us, standing there, staring at the other, our friendship began.

He was my first friend.

It took us two years of friendship before we started school. At the impressionable age of six, we travelled on the bus together to school, the only kids in the far out farms. We had to go to school in the city, which was half an hour away drive. We had a lot of fun on that bus. By the time we’d make it to school, we’d be so interested in the other’s words that we’d forget everyone else. There was only one Kindergarden class, so we were together, and therefore, never apart.

He was my first best friend.

Time moved on. We were the best of friends. Everyone knew us as the “Farm Kids”,  but we didn’t care. We had each other, and that’s all that mattered. But one day we didn’t agree on something. Now a days, I can’t even remember what it was, it was so trivial, but it hurt so much. We didn’t speak for days, both lost and alone in the school that neither of us liked.

He was the first to make me cry.

As I began my years of junior high, he was still right beside me. We had both grown, we weren’t the small four year olds staring at the other through a wire fence, we were twelve year olds, already beginning to feel the hopelessness of our teenage years. Rebellion was on our minds, and we both knew that we never would look back once we moved.

He was my first crush.

I couldn’t really describe it when it first happened, or how it ended. But somehow, I ended up falling for my best friend. I think he fell for me too, or something. We were awkward around each other, but he was still my best friend. I’ll never be able to describe how that changed. My second crush wasn’t him, it was anyone but him. The complete opposite, the popular boy of our class.

He was my first secret keeper.

I told him about him, about the new crush. He laughed and hugged me, said it was okay. From that moment on, he was my secret-keeper, and I his. We were still the best of friends, lost in a world of city kids. Two fourteen year olds lost in a world where we had no idea what the future looked like.

He was the first to suggest it.

When he mentioned experimenting, I laughed it off. He said he was serious… since we were ignored by everyone in the school, we were missing out on “the life.” I didn’t really know how to respond to that, and left. But as I thought of it, I realized how true it was. We were left alone in the world, the numerous boys I had liked had never shown anything back to me. The girls he smiled at never smiled back, preferring to stay away from the boy with cow shit on his jeans.

He was my first boyfriend.

It was months after he suggested it before he finally did anything. He asked me to a movie, said he’d drive me in with his dad’s truck, that we could see a movie together. Thinking nothing of it, I agreed. It wasn’t until we were there did I realize that he was interested in me, that he wanted to love me as no one else had. He was my best friend, my only friend, and the only boy to ever show interest in me. I kissed him back.

He was the first I loved.

The movie wasn’t the last thing we did together. Oh no, we continued. I learned to loved him, deaper than I had ever felt back home. He began to fill my dreams, my fantasies of the future. He was the one I wanted to stay with…

He was the first I agreed to.

When we finally made it to his house, while his parents were away, he was the first to ask. Ask if it was okay, ask if I really wanted it. I couldn’t tell him no. He told me that he loved me, I told him the same. That night will live in my mind forever, as it secured my life in my worried mind.

He was the first to tell me it was okay.

My secured life was thrown out of the window, my mind returned to it’s worried state. But he told me it was okay, that we would make it. That there was nothing to worry about, that he’d never leave me. He was the first to tell me to calm down, to take a breath.  He was the first to tell me that he’d love me no matter what. He was the first to say he’d help, he was the first to say he’d do anything for me, for us.

He was the first to smile, to say it.

I wore red, he wore black. He smiled at me as he said it, a shine in his eyes. I said it too before he kissed me. In that moment, we were one, just like the night many months prior.

He was truly my first.

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